Oh these pies aren’t homemade, they were made in a factory.
A bomb factory.
They’re bombs.
(via rosiedoll)
the girl sitting next to me in class is wearing the same shirt as me in a different colour and we keep awkwardly looking at each other like do I say something or just sit here help
i said ‘nice shirt’ and she said ‘better than yours’ i’m done
(Source: brandfckingnew, via thelaughingmango)
what the fuck is the tooth fairy even doing with all those teeth
i hate literally everything about this website
(via rosiedoll)
1324 FOLLOWERS IM LAUGHING SO HARD ITS IN ORDER
1324 is not in order Matt
ITS 2 AM AND IM NOT EVEN GOOD AT SCIENCE IN THE FIRST PLACE
Science
(Source: judesoldblog, via rosiedoll)
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
(via mememaster)
yahoo wants to buy tumblr so i’m making an early prediction as to what would happen if this were to take place
(via gpyftw)
oh god.
We’re that bad, huh?
Neopets.
Did you do the thing, Neopets?
Tell me the truth, Neopets.
(Source: juicybugz, via celerystalked)
Ellen’s response to the ‘Abercrombi& Fitch’ statement.
love her
(via celerystalked)
i have more followers than there are people in my school
(via twerkforpotatoes)
You know, when you have kids and you love them and you’re proud of them you just want to kiss them on the mouth sometimes.
(Source: jimestmort, via realfunny-bro)
giving birth is essentially just like pooping except out a different hole
are your poops covered in blood and start screaming and crying
only after i eat mexican food
olé
omg
(via laughbitches)
the moral of the story is never have feelings for anybody ever
(via twerkforpotatoes)
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via toastystrudels)
